How do you tell if a copy editor is really dead?

* How do you tell if a copy editor is dead?
The pizza is untouched.

* How do you tell if a copy editor is really dead?
Hold out a doughnut. But don't be fooled; a small, residual clutching action may occur up to hours after death has occurred.

* What's the difference between a sportswriter and an Uzi?
The Uzi stops after 20 shots.

* How long does it take for a photographer to learn how to spell?
Nobody knows.

* What's the ideal weight for an infographics artist
About 2.3 pounds including the urn.

* What do you call a page designer without a significant other?
Homeless.

* What's the difference between a libel lawyer and a gorilla?
It's been definitively proven that gorillas can communicate with humans

* Why is a movie critic like a eunnuch?
Because he knows exactly how it ought to be done.

* What's the difference between a pig and a newspaper promotion director?
There are some things even a pig won't do.